Privacy policies for this blog.

I found this list of questions from an ad page web site. I thought it looked good so my privacy policies are in red.

What are your privacy policy requirements?
The link to your site’s privacy policy should be clearly visible on all pages where you’re collecting personal information—not just your homepage. A good practice is to provide a link to your privacy policy right below all forms where a visitor is entering their information, as well as in the footer. This will ensure your privacy policy is prominently visible to your visitors.
We require that your privacy policy, at minimum, does the following:
  • Describe what personal information is collected.
    • I don't collect personal information. I find the internet to be rather impersonal frankly.
  • Describe how this information will be used by the company.
    • I have no idea what I will do with information I don't have. I'll have to get back to you on that.
  • Describe how this information will be transferred to third party companies.
    • Supposedly, advertisers pay a premium to TV networks for info on TV watchers in the "prime" age group of 18-to-49. If I ever do gather personal information I'll make sure that I change everyone's age to over 100 before I pass it on to third party companies.
  • Describe how you use cookies.
    • I buy and eat "Digestive" cookies. I love those things! In England they call them biscuits I think. Now if you are talking about browser cookies then I believe that Google Analytics does put cookies on the computer of visitors to my web page. That is why I put the text "Google Analytics" on the front page of my blog. To warn visitors. Google does supply a browser extension to disable Google Analytics. You can get that extension here. I think that extension works for Google Analytics on any internet site. My suggestion is that you use DoNotTrackMe from Abine and block everybody! :)
  • Provide instructions on how users can modify or delete their personal information.
    • Send me an email telling me to delete information I do not have. I can assure you that I will handle this customer service request so fast it will make your head spin.
  • Provide instructions on how users can opt out of future communications.
    • Send me email telling me that you want to opt out of future communications I cannot make. That way I will have proof that there are people on the internet with more free time than I have.
  • Finally, websites that collect sensitive personal information, such as bank details and credit card numbers, must use a secure processing server (https://) when collecting this information.
    • If you want to buy something from me, I do have a Paypal account. I have the highest customer feedback rating on ebay. I won’t rip you off. I have thousands of ebay auctions but trust me, that is just a small part of my inventory. I have storage units full of stuff (note the word “units” in that sentence). If you think I have something you want, send me email. Digging through my stuff and being surprised by everything in the storage units is what passes for inventory control around here.

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